The problem with praise
If you want your kids to feel good about themselves then let them overhear you tell other people good things about them - the ways...
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elainenichollsnvr
Jul 205 min read
BRAVING - the elements of trust in relationships
Researcher Brene Brown came up with the acronym ‘BRAVING’ - seven elements of trusting relationships. I think it’s a useful tool to...
elainenichollsnvr
Jul 132 min read
The NVR map
One of the really good things about NVR is that it provides something of a map for those times where we might be in survival mode. Most...
elainenichollsnvr
Jul 92 min read
Kind stories
This is a really hard one for parents/carers of children who struggle to regulate their emotions or manage their behaviour in safe and...
elainenichollsnvr
Jul 51 min read
Letting go
There's a lot of letting go in NVR. One of the things we can let go of is the idea that we're responsible for the actions and responses...
elainenichollsnvr
Jun 301 min read
The measure of parenting success
A quote by lived experience trauma therapist Glenn Patrick Doyle - "We're not ourselves when we're triggered. We become who we think we...
elainenichollsnvr
Jun 231 min read
Mindful parenting
I’ve been doing a lot of driving lately - a lot - and I’ve been listening to audiobooks to make the most of the time. So far I’m still on...
elainenichollsnvr
Jun 211 min read
Teachers hold a key
I love this quote by Haim Ginott (1922-1973) - a teacher, psychologist, and psychotherapist who was passionate about educational...
elainenichollsnvr
Jun 141 min read
Creating the conditions for felt safety
I love this but… Yes - and no. Let’s keep the measure of success to things we can control. Children with significant levels of trauma,...
elainenichollsnvr
Jun 102 min read
You can't do everything
I don’t believe we can do everything. Actually, I don't believe we can do anything either. I have my limitations and I believe we all do....
elainenichollsnvr
May 312 min read
Where's the harm?
An exercise we do in our groups (and sometimes in one to one sessions) is thinking back to a thing we did as a child that our parent/s...
elainenichollsnvr
May 301 min read
Parental presence
This to me is parental presence. Everything we do (and don't do) influencing their development, influencing their values, influencing the...
elainenichollsnvr
May 272 min read
FRIES?
Looking for a resource to help with conversations about consent? There are some interesting videos out there using 'a cup of tea' to open...
elainenichollsnvr
May 261 min read
We all go through things differently
It’s tempting to compare ourselves, our parenting, our children, to others. But we don’t all experience things the same. We don’t all...
elainenichollsnvr
May 251 min read
I'm so sorry
Apologies cover a multitude of parent mistakes and parent dysregulation. We all have ‘stuff’ that drives everything from behind the...
elainenichollsnvr
May 232 min read
Parenting Styles
The four parenting styles are fairly well-known. Permissive (top left) is an approach to parenting where there’s a lot of warmth,...
elainenichollsnvr
May 221 min read
Don't compare how you feel to how others appear
Don't compare how you feel on the inside to how others appear on the outside. Remember - what people present on social media is a poor...
elainenichollsnvr
May 201 min read
Self compassion
The great thing about self compassion is it allows us to accept ourselves as we are while we openly acknowledge where we've still got...
elainenichollsnvr
May 161 min read
Children don't need perfection
Children don’t need perfection. If we can manage safe and predicable most of the time, avoiding all forms of abuse and neglect, taking...
elainenichollsnvr
Apr 261 min read
Get a dog
If you have a teenager, or a handful of teenagers, you'll know that teenagers aren't very often pleased to see us. If your self worth was...
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