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World suicide prevention day
Suicidal thoughts and feelings can be the reality of life for lots of people for lots of reasons - an ongoing struggle. Telling somebody...

elainenichollsnvr
Sep 10, 20241 min read


Two things can be true
Those of us parenting children who’ve experienced relational trauma can sometimes struggle to decide how to respond to behaviours that...

elainenichollsnvr
Sep 10, 20242 min read


You are delightful
When children are experienced as delightful, when that’s communicated through words & actions, children experience themselves as...

elainenichollsnvr
Sep 3, 20241 min read


Boundaries
We’ve got a reactive cavapoo who barks a lot when anybody walks past the house, especially if they’ve got a dog. Initially there was no...

elainenichollsnvr
Sep 2, 20242 min read


Breathe
When things are going well it's easier to be intentional in our parenting. It's much more of a challenge when we're out of our window of...

elainenichollsnvr
Aug 30, 20241 min read


Rudeness
My conscious thinking brain knows this. My unconscious emotional brain sometimes doesn't. When we're feeling wound up by our kids it's...

elainenichollsnvr
Aug 29, 20241 min read


Alice's Umbrella
Human beings learn by experience - things going well and things going not so well. It’s tempting to feel as though we need to say...

elainenichollsnvr
Aug 27, 20242 min read


Self-fulfilling prophecy in NVR
I love this quote by Karyn Purvis - an expert in developmental trauma, attachment difficulties, and therapeutic approaches. She was one...

elainenichollsnvr
Aug 25, 20242 min read


NVR chat - follow up group for parents
Today I did something I've been meaning to do for a while. I set up a Facebook group for parents who've completed an NVR parent group...

elainenichollsnvr
Aug 23, 20242 min read


Things I manage not to say
Children’s brains are wired differently to adult brains. The bits of the brain that help us manage our emotions and impulses, reflect on...

elainenichollsnvr
Aug 21, 20242 min read


Say yes to the feelings
This right here is the key to therapeutic parenting - saying yes to the feelings (or ideas, or thoughts, or wishes, or drives) while also...

elainenichollsnvr
Aug 19, 20242 min read


Grades don't define you
A level results in our house today. I’m in awe of those that did well and in awe of those that didn’t do so well. It’s difficult for...

elainenichollsnvr
Aug 15, 20242 min read


Collaborative problem solving
Collaborative conversations are a fundamental part of NVR parenting and NVR approaches in schools. Starting from a belief that everyone's...

elainenichollsnvr
Aug 14, 20241 min read


Can I use consequences in NVR parenting?
Parents often ask if it's okay to use consequences in NVR parenting. Consequences are part of life. We can't avoid them. Consequences are...

elainenichollsnvr
Aug 13, 20242 min read


Look beyond behaviour
What a beautiful illustration by Hazel Mead. Reminding us to always to consider what's going on underneath the surface, to look beyond...

elainenichollsnvr
Aug 12, 20241 min read


Coregulation
Therapeutic parents are encouraged to share their calm to coregulate their dysregulated child. They might be very distressed. They might...

elainenichollsnvr
Aug 8, 20242 min read


Children who need love the most...
Parenting is hard. Really hard. Therapeutic parenting is beyond hard. In all the therapeutic parenting advice (specific to...

elainenichollsnvr
Aug 7, 20242 min read


Everyone's doing their best
This statement can really help to shift our nervous system state when we’re struggling with children’s behaviour. I think there are few,...

elainenichollsnvr
Aug 5, 20241 min read


No matter what!
Relationship gestures - a fancy term for all the things we do that keep us deeply connected to our children - are fundamental to NVR. A...

elainenichollsnvr
Aug 2, 20242 min read


Fix the environment
There's no blame or shame in NVR - there’s no blaming or shaming of parents and there’s no blaming or shaming of children. When our...

elainenichollsnvr
Jul 30, 20241 min read
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