“The day you plant the seed is not the day you eat the fruit.”
This is an interesting one that’s going to land differently depending on what’s going on for us.
When we’ve been showing up, pouring in love and limits - maybe for many years - only to be met with resistance, indifference, or rejection, it’s hard to believe that what we’re doing is worthwhile.
It’s hard to remember that growth begins underground, unseen, long before anything pushes through the surface.
So if today feels like you’re just pouring in and nothing’s making a difference, know that it is. Every moment of safety you offer, every gentle conversation you have, every time you courageously stand firm, every time you stay present when it would be easier to turn away - it all matters. Even if you can’t see it yet.
But please remember that the measure of our success as parents can only ever be our own actions - we do what we do because we believe it’s the right thing to do. When we measure our success by our children’s behaviour or their recovery journey, we make a big mistake - dismissing all the other influences.
If this post just feels overwhelming to read, because right now you’re not in a place to be pouring into your child, then maybe this post isn’t for you. Sometimes we can’t keep sowing seeds and we can’t keep watering. And that’s okay. There’s no place for guilt when we’re parenting trauma.